The best way to cope with the COVID-19 pandemic?

About a month ago I was watching a national morning news program, which I don't usually find myself doing because I have kids and they watch YouTube. During the wellness segment they invited two mental health counselors to talk about ways to cope during the COVID-19 pandemic. Here we go, I thought, what else could I possibly learn that I had not already shared with my clients or applied in my own life? Despite my skepticism, I continued to watch, wondering what sage advice they had to offer.

They proposed not focusing on self-care. What?! Were they crazy? Oh, their poor clients, I thought. But instead of turning off the tv, I heard them out. They suggested focusing on caring for others. I know, if you are a wife, a mother, or any other type of care giver, you, like me, don't want to hear this. However, the "other" care they were talking about made perfect sense. Think about it, when you stop focusing on yourself, your problems, what's in your head, and turn the focus to, let's say checking in on an elderly neighbor or relative, making a meal for a sick friend, paying for the coffee for the person behind you in the Starbuck's drive thru, etc., you feel good. We all know the saying, "It is better to give than to receive." Caring for others is a profound way to help us feel connected in this currently "socially-distanced" world.

We know how it feels to be the recipient of such kinds gestures. We feel loved. On the other hand, we all know how it feels to receive unkind gestures. It hurts. Hurt fuels anger. There is a lot of anger in our world right now. Anger stems from a wide variety of unpleasant feelings such as fear, loneliness, sadness, feeling overwhelmed, and so on. When we take the time to care for others we can help heal those negative emotions, leading people to feel loved and connected. And, in turn, we feel better ourselves. I invite you to really pay attention to what happens to you physically, mentally and emotionally when you care for others. Usually we feel a little warm inside, we feel more alive, like a spark of energy. We could all use that right now.

I am still a huge proponent of self-care, despite what these two counselors say. After all, "you can't pour from an empty pitcher." But I encourage us all to shift our focus from "self" to "others" from time to time as a means of coping with this pandemic. It is, perhaps, the one of the best way to cope.